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April 2013



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fic: Urkel Complex

Title: Urkel Complex
Prompt: Fluff, coffee
Bonus? ...yes
Word Count: 502
Rating: K
Original/Fandom: X Men
Pairings (if any): Domino/Deadpool...sort of
Warnings (Non-Con/Dub-Con etc): ...
Summary: The problem isn't so much that he's a nerd but a homicidal, schizoid lunatic.

Domino was a very lucky woman. It was her gift, and it made sneaking away from her botched mission rather easy. Sky dreary and leaking, she hailed a cab, slid in, dusting water from her hair and unmindful of the driver’s curious gaze through the rearview mirror, and gave him an address.

“I really find you very attractive,” he said. “Did I say that out loud?”

She could have kicked herself for not noticing that her cab driver was him.

“Wade, I swear, if this is another attempt at kidnapping me, I –“

“That was for your own good,” he waved a flippant hand, pulling the car into the flow of traffic. 

She scoffed. “And you’re not going to drug me?”


“Or –“

“Dom, come on, girl. I’m not totally insane. I tend not to repeat behavior that will only yield the same results. Which is, you know, you stabbing and hitting and screaming at me before it's all said and done.”

"Yet it's never a permanent deterrent."

"What can I say? Persistence is a virtue."

"No, it isn't."

"Well, it's one of mine."

She leaned forward to properly glare at him. Turning, he smiled and winked again. She forced her lips into a tight line, refusing to smile back.

“You know,” he went on, “there are a few girls who wouldn’t mind my affection, however…impassioned it may be."

"It must be a spectacular few."

"You could certainly do much worse than me. I mean, it’s not like I'm some human scab-factory anymore.”

Not even pretending to understand what that was supposed to mean, she rolled her eyes and sat back.

“Oh, yes. What a lucky, lucky girl I am,” she deadpanned.

“But you know, just because we had those unfortunate misunderstandings in the past, doesn’t mean we can’t move forward into a friendly relationship. What do you say to you and me settling everything over a cup of coffee?”
“A relationship. With you? That is utterly terrifying.”

“Don’t be like that. I’m great at parties, hilarious, and I could give ol’ Ryan Renolds a run for his money in the looks department. I'll hold your hair back while you puke, ‘cause that's just the kinda guy I am.”

“I gotta tell ya, Wade,” she scoffed, “none of that fills me with boundless confidence.”

“Just get to know me. Give me a chance.”

The sky had cleared slightly, the rain subsiding and leaving the city slick from the rain.

“Said the stalker with obsessive optimism.”

He laughed, slightly crazed and boyish. “Oh, you’re such a wit. If you don’t want coffee, what about dinner?”


“To an annoying degree I’m told.”

“Unfortunately, Wade, it’s a policy of mine not to date men who not only stalk me but also steal my mission targets as well.”

“You do so enjoy being stubborn. It’s really cute.”

The cab stopped at a red light. Domino hopped out of the car. Wade sat stunned for a second but recovered before she was out of sight and rolled down the window.

“Hey! You didn’t pay, woman!”

“I’ll let you buy me coffee sometime,” she called over her shoulder.

“Yes!” he pumped his fist. “I’m wearin’ you down, woman! I‘m wearin’ you down.”

By then, she was gone.